Healthy Living: Dealing With Death - Northern Michigan's News Leader

In medicine -- there's one ultimate enemy. It's what doctors try their hardest to avoid and what patients will fight until they have no options left. But death is an inescapable part of life, and we'll all have to deal with it at some point. Do you know what to say or do if your loved one gets a terminal diagnosis? In Healthy Living, Robyn Haines looks at some common mistakes people make.  

The first: not using the right language. Experts say we shouldn't talk about "winning" or "surviving" because when it's time to face death, it feels like "losing" or "failing" to the patient. Another mistake: not using hospice or palliative care. One study of more than four-thousand patients found hospice care extended survival for those with pancreatic cancer by three weeks, lung cancer by six weeks and heart failure by three months.

Mistake number three: suggesting aggressive treatment when it won't make the patient better. A recent study says two-thirds of patients will undergo therapies they don't want if it's what their loved ones want. The last mistake: not asking for a physical reminder of your loved one - such as letters, a written story or a recorded message.

Another tip: you may want to rethink what your doctor tells you about your loved one. One study found 40-percent of oncologists report offering treatments that they believe are unlikely to work. And 63 percent of doctors in a Harvard study overestimated the survival time of their patients.