Having a baby is typically one of the greatest joys in life.
Losing one can be one of the most devastating.
Michelle Dunaway introduces us to a northern Michigan mother who’s lived it, and is now there for other moms every single day.
Katelynn Hergott is a registered nurse who works at the birthing center at Spectrum Health Big Rapids hospital.
She helps mothers bring their babies into the world every day.
And not so long ago she was one of those mothers.
She says her delivery went beautifully, she couldn’t have asked for anything better. It may have been a little long, but that’s expected. Easton was perfect, she says, he was perfect in their eyes.
But on the inside, Easton was not perfect, genetically.
Katelynn says on his first day of life he didn’t cry, didn’t eat, just wasn’t acting like a normal newborn. At 24 hours the pediatrician at the hospital decided something wasn’t right. They went down to Helen DeVos and doctors started running tests. They found he had Nonketotic hypoglycemia, which is a rare genetic disorder.
NKH is a condition where the body is unable to break down amino acids.
She says doctors intabated Easton, they put him on a breathing machine. They actually started treating him before a clinician diagnosed him. They wanted to give him the best chance of survival.
Katelynn and her husband Mike were able to bring Easton home for just six days.
He was born on May 23, 2017 and passed away on June 17th. Katelynn says it’s been a hard journey, but it gets better every day.
That may be because, from the get-go, Katelynn looked for ways to help her deal with her grief.
She says during the first month of being at home, it was a lot about coping and grieving, and after that she went to social media, hoping to find other moms going through something similar. From there, she started a blog to help others, and also find therapy through sharing her feelings.
And in reaching out, Katelynn learned very quickly she was not alone.
The statistics don’t lie. One in 3 or 4 women lose a baby either through miscarriage or infant loss, says Katelynn. She believes a lot of people don’t talk about it because they feel alone, like she did. She adds that it’s important to talk about it and let people know you’re hurting.
She and Mike have done many things to remember Easton around their home … And he hopefully helped others live on.
They were able to give two of his heart valves to Gift of Life. Katelynn says they haven’t heard anything about families receiving them, but they’re waiting.
Today, the Hergotts are still hoping to grow their family.
They started IVF just a couple of weeks ago, hoping to have healthy babies.
In the meantime, Katelynn is hoping to help other mothers, both in happiness and in grief.
She says, “I think I’m a better nurse with moms that have lost babies and moms that have had babies. I’ve always been an empathetic person, but I really am now and I just see life differently.”
Because of her experience, Katelynn joined the bereavement group at her hospital, to help other mothers when they need it most.
Her friend and fellow nurse, Abby Young started it a few years ago.
Abby said she didn’t know how to care for a mother who just lost her child.
So she went to a class to learn how.
She started the bereavement group – that Katelynn is also a part of.
If a mom loses a baby, Abby will take photos and molds of hands, feet, sometimes even the face and body.
That way they have something tangible to bring home with them.
She says you do what you can do, so anything you can do, do it. She can do the molds, the pictures and she can give the families time with their baby. At the hospital they let the parents give the child a first bath, and try to get all the firsts done in the hospital. Let them say hello before they say goodbye.
Abby says friends and loved ones should not ignore the elephant in the room and say the babies name, ask the parent about the child and acknowledge the birth of the child.
Here are the links to both and her page.
The GoFundMe page is to help pay for her in vitro fertilization. The Hergotts have to deal with genetics and fertility clinics to ensure that other children will not have the same genetic issues.
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